I gleaned this nauseatingly cutesy match-making blurb from a local community board that is something of a referenced Craigslist for West Elm assholes who refuse take their chances with the degenerate scumbags on the People's Internet like the rest of us. It also happens to be a fabulous source of all things hoity-toity, but I can name neither the site itself or the blurb's author, lest I break their precious terms and conditions and get reproached, or even kicked off. Naturally, as kind of an appetizer, its author qualifies his own brilliance in the opening. The blurb surpasses its pretension only in its witlessness and cliche. Please note the stock Starbucks reference ...
"This is a re-post from the new (Blah-Blah) beta site, that was so well received that I thought I'd give this a shot for real! Woo hoo!
1958 near mint condition boyfriend available to the right owner. Slightly used, rarely abused, high mileage but mostly for highway usage and cross country trecks. Original engine, fully loaded with tons of available options. This baby has the power and the stamina to go off road, yet cleans up nicely for those nights on the town, an awesome ride to be sure. Clean, clear headlights mark the way for this classic vehicle. All upholstery and equipment is original and has been kept in impeccable condition. Never one to be "left out in the rain" this workhorse knows it's way around any bend, and always finds the way home at night. This unit will not remain on the market for long. Bids begin at 25K, but coffee at Starbucks would suit as well. Do not miss out on this one of a kind, once in a lifetime offer!"
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